Do I need Self-Discipline?

Posted on December 12, 2013. Filed under: Professionalism, Think BIG |


If you relate to the title and are wondering the same; this article is definitely for you. Discipline is what makes you organized. Self –discipline is not an alien concept to us, we simply tend to ignore it, undermining its importance in our lives.

Right from getting up in the morning till your sleep time, every activity must be disciplined. This might take you aback but that’s the way you take control of your mind and hence life. Everything starts small and eventually grows big and the art of disciplining is no exception.

Every mess in your life, be it social, relationship or professional is because you lack self-discipline. Self-Discipline shatters your self-created image of blaming others for your own mess, of not being able to complete tasks at hand irrespective of any reason whatsoever.

Self-Discipline is not for everybody, it’s only for those who believe and want to achieve more even beyond their imagination. Because for others, it’s simply a philosophy or something fancy that is only applicable for successful people. Self-Discipline is not for successful people, it is for people who want to be.

When you start thinking beyond your routine work and routine life, you see there is something more to life than the daily rut. You get pepped up with this new glimpse of possible-awesome-life. This motivation lingers with you for some time and eventually dies down unless you make conscious efforts to sustain it by any means. Only in such times Self-Discipline is applicable because you ‘need’ it and understand the importance of it. If you are not heckled by circumstances it’s difficult to understand the importance of discipline. Although if you do, you emerge as one of the strongest yourself you yourself ever known.

Self-Discipline is not only waking up early for gym, it’s just a start, Self-Discipline is much more than that. Self-Discipline is a multi-faceted trait which acts as a catalyst in molding your mindset.

Ability to make yourself do what you know you should do, when you should do, whether you feel like it or not – Brian Tracy

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Be Assertive – Victims complain

Posted on May 6, 2012. Filed under: Professionalism | Tags: , , , , |

Be AssertiveVictims complain

Assertiveness is an aspect of communication skill which is more than often mistaken for attitude and behavior. Although all communication aspects (like confidence & assertiveness) are outcome of our own behavior; assertiveness is a communication skill reflecting one’s own attitudes.

You pay for non-assertiveness for a long time but assertiveness pays immediately!!! Assertiveness is a very essential trait; every one of us must possess and practice.

Lets understand how, why and when of assertiveness. When you feel clobbered by your own emotions resulting into feeling ‘victimized’ – make sure you need to be assertive. When you don’t assert, you are taken for granted – with your consent. Then, instead of facing the person and communicating assertively, we tend to take the easier route – feel victimized.

Drill these two things in mind for Assertiveness:

  1. Assertiveness is needed not only in relations where the other person is in the commanding position like your boss, our elders and others. But in every relation so that you are not taken for granted by anybody and this gives a big boost to your self esteem.
  2. The other person is NOT taking advantage of you, you are letting him!!! Because of your non-assertiveness. If you ‘think – the person is taking advantage of you’ or ‘you feel are being victimized’ – STOP blaming the other person because you’ve given the consent.

Feeling victimized is a very easy and luring option for any situation and relationship. Because when you ‘feel’ victimized, you anticipate empathy and hence your ‘attention seeking’ craving is satiated. But you pay a very high price later by falling prey to this insignificant craving and temporary satiation. Assertiveness is not being aggressive but standing for your own self (esteem) and demanding what you deserve.

We perceive assertiveness to be very hard to be practiced. This is because we’ve already taken the back seat of ‘being a victim’.

Another crucial aspect where passive people fail is ‘assumption’. Passive people ‘assume’ that the other person must ‘understand’. This thought itself is self-contradictory, because if that person would’ve ‘understood’ he/she wouldn’t have taken you for granted. But still you are taken for granted, because you let them!!!

We more often than not have mistaken assertiveness for aggression. Assertiveness is a balance between passiveness (non-assertiveness) and aggressiveness. Assertiveness is practiced by following 5 C’s:

Coolness: Be calm and cool. Do not lose your temper because the other person is taking you for granted. Because that person is behaving in a certain manner that is not acceptable to you.

Consider: Consider other persons point of view. Evaluate if you need to change something in you that is the result of such behavior of the concerned person. Check whether the person is really taking you for granted.

Communicate: Practicing above two points, communicate in an affirmative tone so that the person is not offended at the same time give the message that you are speaking for what you deserve. And you deserve to be respected and not taken for granted.

Clarify: Communicate to clarify that you cannot be taken for granted and henceforth you need to be treated with respect. Just clarify that you’ll not be taking the earlier treatment and you’ll be standing up for what you deserve.

Consequences: Be ready for the consequences. Sometimes if you’ve been passive for too long, the person might be taken aback with this sudden change. In such cases, you must be mentally prepared and be ready for it, because it for your own self-esteem.

Be Assertive and watch you Self-Esteem and in turn Self-Confidence go Sky High!!!

Assertiveness is not what you do, it’s who you are! – Shakti Gawain

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