Self Confidence Decoded

Posted on February 11, 2012. Filed under: Uncategorized |

Self Confidence Decoded


Dictionary meaning of Self-confidence says – it says freedom from doubt and belief in yourself & your abilities. This doubt, generally prevalent; pertains to the doubts individual has about one’s own abilities reflecting in individuals confidence levels.

For boosting self confidence we have many self help books, ‘what is self esteem’ and ‘how to be confident’ audio – videos but all help to a certain extent which does not serve our purpose. Let’s see what makes it work or rather how it works.

To learn anything totally new or to develop any talent/skill we must get to the basics. Because all successful people are strong at basics and hence they are successful. Taking Self Confidence to the basics; self confidence stands tall on two pillars: Self-Respect and Self-Esteem.

Self Confidence is an outcome of Self-Esteem and Self-Respect, more accurately Self-Confidence is directly proportional to both i.e. better Self Esteem & better Self Respect yields more confidence.

Self Esteem is simply a feeling of pride in oneself or a quality of being worthy of respect. This makes it clear that to be more accurate; to have better Self Esteem one must be worthy of respect. Looking at the bigger picture for better self confidence, one must have better self esteem and for better self esteem one must be ‘worthy’ of self respect.

‘Being worthy’ is not expecting respect, but proving oneself to be worthy of respect and it all starts with one’s own self. If a person has respect for one’s own self only then others will respect. In other words, if you sell yourself short, people will naturally take you for granted and you lose respect.        A simple ground rule: If you cannot respect yourself, how can you expect respect from others?

Self Respect for one’s own self can be amplified by looking into and listing down things one is better at. This listing exercise itself will give a big boost to the limited thinking of selling oneself short.

To begin with Self-Esteem list down your strengths, what things you are good at? In what domain/skill/occasions are you an expert? The answers to these questions will give you a better feel. This ‘better feel’ is not just to make you ‘feel’ better; but it is to realize that you have the capabilities, expertise which you were not aware of earlier due to your limited thinking.

The ‘feel better’ exercise will boost up your self-esteem; you’ll realize that your understanding shifts from ‘I’m not that great’ to ‘Wow, I’m that capable!!!’

The upgraded Self-Esteem will in turn boost your self-respect. Because earlier you were not sure about your capabilities, but now that you are, you’ll have respect for your own self. Loaded with these upgraded Self-Esteem and Self-Respect, you’ll observe that Self-Confidence comes as a by-product.

Self-Confidence cannot be gained through some mental exercises, it helps no doubt about it but it’s not sustainable. Self – exploration and readiness to change own self from inside is what matters!!!



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